Private: my feelings.
Nov. 8th, 2017 07:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
asilaparapetEverything is getting to me lately. I feel like I'm not me anymore.
Like I don't even remember who that is.
I feel as if I'm losing myself to this job.
To the clients.
I feel lost.
I only feel like myself with Leo and I'm trying not to be so clingy. I know how much it annoys him. How much he puts up with. Reese and AP always say we're off making out. I don't want that for Leo.
I don't want them to know how desperate I am! How much I want him. It's hard to ignore what you want when it's there.
I feel like self-harming. It's so hard to say out loud and it's selfish to want to do that, especially after Leo's client died. He's going through a hard time. That's the last thing he needs.
But it's the first thing I need.
Like I don't even remember who that is.
I feel as if I'm losing myself to this job.
To the clients.
I feel lost.
I only feel like myself with Leo and I'm trying not to be so clingy. I know how much it annoys him. How much he puts up with. Reese and AP always say we're off making out. I don't want that for Leo.
I don't want them to know how desperate I am! How much I want him. It's hard to ignore what you want when it's there.
I feel like self-harming. It's so hard to say out loud and it's selfish to want to do that, especially after Leo's client died. He's going through a hard time. That's the last thing he needs.
But it's the first thing I need.
